Recovery Frills: Staying Frilly When You Don’t Feel Like Much of Anything

This is going to be kind of a downer post, guys, but it's something that's been on my mind and I want to address it. If you want a happier post for Christmas Eve, here are a couple of recommendations before you get into the meat of my post:

• If you want some style inspiration, take a look at Princess Peachie's adorable Christmas outfit or these adorable, nutcrackertastic outfits from Milkyfawn.
• Last minute shopper? Princess Peachie, F Yeah Lolita, and Parfait Doll all have tips for Lolita-appropriate Christmas gifts.
• Is a white Christmas making dressing up a challenge? Sleeping Sweets, Lolita Tips, and Ruffles Not Diets have tips to keep you warm.
• Fashion Santa. I don't know that this one needs much explanation. Go forth and have fun.

Okay, now for the serious stuff. Grab hot beverage and settle in.



I’ve had a rough couple of months, which included a number of car issues and my grandfather passing away. As a result, I haven’t been feeling like dressing up. I’ve barely had it in me to wear a skirt to work, let alone dress up properly on the weekend. This has taken quite a toll on the holidays, which are usually my favorite time to dress up.

So what’s a girl to do?

Don’t Force Yourself

I’ve been at a place where dressing in Lolita is simply not in the cards at the moment, and that’s okay. I need to give myself a little space, and I’m doing that. If I didn’t, I’d fear that I’d start to resent my frills, and that’s the last thing that I want to happen.

Plan Something Nice

It has been helping me a lot to plan out a coordinate. Not to wear, just to plan. It’s okay if you do wear the coordinate eventually, but just enjoy the artistry of planning it for now without the pressure of needing to wear it out.

Start Small

Are you ready to start going back to your frills? Start small. Because I spent a lot of time in sweaters and jeans, I’ve been slowly introducing skirts or nicer blouses. Taking baby steps has made it feel more natural than suddenly jumping into full coordinates (even if I do tend toward the toned-down classic).

Accessories are another great way to start small. I’ve started with hair accessories and jewelry to bring myself back into my style, wearing a ring one day or some nicer shoes the next. It might not be a complete outfit, but it’s a start.

This is an illustration of the sort of trajectory I’m working on taking myself. I’ve finally gotten myself about to number 3, but it's taken some time to get there.

Slow Transition

Take Care of Yourself

For me, my clothing is a direct reflection of how I’m feeling. The better I feel, the fancier I want to be. As a result, I’ve been focusing on my emotional state first and foremost, my clothing second. Sometimes, it helps to dress up a bit. Sometimes, I need to let my clothing go and focus on doing other things that make me happier.

If you’re going through a difficult time – and especially if you’re going through a difficult time during the holidays – take care of yourself. You are more important than your wardrobe. Your clothes will be there when you feel better, and they’ll be there for you if you need them to feel better.

I hope everyone has a good holiday, whether good for you means happy and sparkly or simply peaceful.