The Journey: On Getting Out of Your Own Way

Ladies, gentlemen, I think it's time we all got out of our own way.

That's right, you. You, there, reading this on the internet and coveting the clothing. Also, you, the one who already dresses like you want to but who doesn't really feel comfortable branching out from a single brand of crazy and trying something new. Also, me. All of us.

Step aside, we're coming through.

This is so important that The Lady of the Manners has it tattooed on her arm.
And, yes, I find her to be an excellent role model and she will appear frequently in this blog.

You are, all too often, what is stopping you from doing what you want to do. And I get it. I've been there.

I spent years being afraid not of what other people would think but of them noticing me at all. Then, my freshman year of college, I had a few very bad experiences with the people around me (I won't get into them here; this isn't the time or the place) and decided that, whether I liked it or not, people were going to notice me. People were going to like me or dislike me as they pleased. I couldn't blend in to the background; I had tried and failed. What, then, was the point of stifling myself?

I needed to get out of my own way.

And so I did. You can, too.

It takes a long time for some of us. We don't all pop, fully formed and clad in frills or armor, from the brow of society. Some of us have to work, ever-so-slowly, toward expressing ourselves. And it takes a long time. We are bombarded by images of what is and is not okay for us to be.

So let's get out of our own way.

The only advice I can offer you on actually getting out of your own way is this: stop taking in negativity. I know it's everywhere, but stop. Don't watch shows that make you feel like you aren't pretty or confident enough. Don't read magazines like that, either. Surround yourself, as much as possible, with what you love and with what makes you feel worthwhile, confident, and beautiful or handsome.

Be defiant about yourself. Tell the world, in the way you walk and the way you dress and the way you hold your head, that you are awesome and you are worthwhile and to hell with them if they can't see it.

Tell yourself that you are worth it. I don't care if you have to stare for hours into a mirror to do it. I don't care if you have to say, "I am worth it. I am awesome. I can do this," every day for a month, out loud, before you can believe it.

I believe it about myself. And, to be frank, I believe it about you, too. Everyone deserves to be whoever makes them happy. That is the most basic belief within me.

So get out of your own way. I want to meet the person you want to be, and the world deserves to know them.