Taking a Break from Lolita: Yeah, It Happens

Over on Les Fleurs Noires, a question was posed recently:

I seem to find myself falling in and out of love with actually wearing Lolita. I still find it to be incredibly lovely, but I guess it's just not always practical for me to wear. Does that ever happen to you?

The answer, put simply, is yes.

Honestly, I take breaks all the time from lolita. Sometimes, I'll put in the work to wear it every day. Other times, I might go for a week or two or even three without actually wearing my frills. It depends on the week, the weather, the state of my laundry basket, my mood. Lolita isn't something I do because I have to do it. It's something I do because I want to do it, and sometimes I just don't want to.

Part of the reason why I take breaks is that I have a wide variety of interests. Sometimes I need to take a break and try something else. Sometimes I want to slouch back into the geek chic clothing that I wore in college. Other times I want to wear vintage. And sometimes I just want to go nuts and wear something completely different.

And that's okay.

A still shot from Kuragehime.
How am I supposed to pick just one jellyfish?

Some people are able to stick to a single style for a long time. That simply isn't me. I said it at the beginning of this blog, and it's still true: I'm a dabbler. I'm not the sort of person who sees a new style, dives in completely and sticks with it forever. I'm also not the sort of person who goes from intense passion to intense passion, revamping my wardrobe every year or so to suit my new look.

Make new friends, but keep the old, as the saying goes.


Honestly, I think that playing with my style helps me enjoy clothing more as a whole. Like the jellyfish pictured above, it's more fun when I have a lot to choose from. I will throw together an outfit that inspires me to put together a new coordinate.  I'll play with color combinations outside of lolita and then incorporate them into my wardrobe.

Lolita will always be there when I want to go back. As long as I'm having fun with my clothing, wearing clothing that works for my activities, and expressing myself, then I don't see anything wrong with taking a break from that style.

Style Icons: Emilie Autumn

I discovered Emilie Autumn about three weeks into my college career. I was immediately captivated by her music, and by her style.

Whatever you think of her personally (I know public opinion is mixed these days, and I won't add my voice to an already oversaturated discussion), it's hard to deny that her style is evocative and interesting. Emilie Autumn alongside her Bloody Crumpets is a fashion icon in the alternative scene. Her style is best described as a mix of Victorian, cabaret, different styles of goth, some Elizabethan, and a healthy does of glitter and corsets.

My Ginormo-Noggin and Me: Finding Hats for Plus-Sized Heads

Sometimes, I feel like this.
(Chiho Saito concept art
for Revolutionary Girl Utena
found at Empty Movement)

I have a confession to make: I have a large head.

I do. I legitimately have a large head. My head circumference is 24", which comes to somewhere between US hat size 7-3/4 and 7-5/8 depending on who you ask. Wikipedia tells me that one US study estimated the average female head circumference in the United States at 53 cm (20.8661 inches). My head is a little over three inches bigger than that.

This is something that a lot of other people don't quite understand, unfortunately, because "my head is too big" is not a common complaint women make about their bodies. It's not a problem for which people generally make lists of advice, and it's not a problem that most people talk about because it's simply not common.

It also makes fashion difficult.

This causes some people to eschew hats entirely, except for the moments when sub-zero temperatures make them absolutely necessary. But cute hats? Hats as accessories that are strictly aesthetic? They suddenly seem completely out of reach.

They aren't.

Over the years, I've figured out the ways that I like to avoid the style problems associated with my head size.  This is a list for other ladies with bigger noggins, so I'm sorry if you don't fit into this category and the following advice is rendered useless. This is by no means a complete list of the options available to those of us with larger heads, but it's my favorite options.

Holy Blogiversary, Batman: Where My Style is At Now

I've been running Bookish Beauty for just over a year and have updated pretty much once a week since I started.

That feels insane.

However, it does feel like a really good place to take stock of where my style is at compared to this time last year. So here we go!

In terms of genre (which anybody who's been reading for a while will be unsurprised by), my style has taken a pretty hard turn into lolita and otome-kei. It has been heading toward the frilly life for a while now, but over the course of the last year I've practically stopped wearing pants. That's quite the change. Beyond genre, my wardrobe is beginning to settle down in terms of color palette and versatility.

My hairstyles have become significantly more elaborate over the past year in terms of decoration. What started as a single barrette on occasion has turned into a display. I rarely wear my hair plain anymore. Whether it's a simple scrap of lace or a full-tilt arrangement with barrettes, flowers, and a beret, there is almost always something on my head. In terms of actual hair styling... well, my hair barely hits my shoulders and refuses to hold a curl for longer than fifteen minutes, so there has been almost zero actual styling going on save for the occasional braid. One could say I'm overcompensating with decorations, but I wouldn't say that myself.

My taste in jewelry hasn't changed, but my use of it certainly has. I've always been the sort to keep my outfits simple and load up on shiny things, but since my accessories moved off of their wall hooks and into a box I've been keeping it much simpler. Of course, by "simple," I mean "one enormous necklace at a time," but that still counts, right?

I've also gotten much more into historical clothing in the literal sense, and intend to incorporate more historically-inspired pieces into my wardrobe as a whole. Upcoming projects include a renaissance bodice, several dresses made from vintage patterns, a few Gibson girl blouses, a couple of fichus, and a Spenser jacket. All of which I intend to wear on a regular basis because I think they are perfectly wearable garments.

All in all, I don't think my style has changed much over the past year. It's just gotten more in a lot of ways. I've added more skirts and dresses to my wardrobe, more hair accessories in general and worn at a time, more confident about what I'm wearing, and more inclined to pull garments I like from the annals of history.

I like where I've gone in the past year, and I certainly intend to keep going.

DIY Month: Some Resources For The DIYer

It's the end of DIY month here on Bookish Beauty, and I wanted to leave new DIYers with some resources to help you get on your feet.

We Sew Loli

This Livejournal community for lolita seamstresses is filled with crafty, creative people of all skill levels. Whether you're a beginner or a long-time seamstress, it's a great place to talk about the craft, to share your projects, and to see what other people have been doing. To me, it's one of the most inspiring places on the net.

BurdaStyle Forums

BurdaStyle is a great resource in general. Free patterns (can't get much better than free, right?) and a thriving DIY community are to be found there. This is especially good if you have specific issues or questions, because you've got a pool of people who will be able to help when you get stuck.

Other Blog and Forum Resources

Those two sites aren't everything, of course. There are tons of resources online. See Kate Sew has a roundup of a wide variety of tutorials in, aptly titled, Sewing 101. Caro of F Yeah Lolita has a truly epic roundup of lolita tutorials that will give you instructions on everything from basic elastic-waist skirts to hats and other accessories.

Books

There are a wide variety of books that can prove very useful to the beginner seamstress, but you have to find the right ones. Craft books with patterns and instructions for specific projects are great for those specific projects, but not particularly helpful if, say, you just want to learn how to do a pin tuck.

Personally, my favorite is the old-school Better Homes and Gardens Sewing Book that hails from the 1970s. It's a lot of basic information, from pin tucks to tailoring a pattern to suit a larger or smaller bust, but it's really useful for beginners. It's also extremely useful if you suddenly come into possession of a large amount of vintage patterns whose instructions are, on occasion, less than clear.

Other great books include Singer's Sewing Reference Library set for everything from clothing fitting to sewing pillows, Fairchild's Dictionary of Textiles by Phyllis G. Tortora for every fabric term you could ever want to know, Fast Fit by Sandra Betzina for more pattern fitting tips, Vogue Sewing Revised & Updated for more general tips, and the 4-H Sewing Curriculum set for a good way to start with the absolute basics and work up.

You'll notice many of these books are old, or are a long-running series; the 4-H sewing curriculum has been around for practically forever, and I have copies of both the 1990s set and the set from the late 1960s. That's not an accident. Many more recent books are more project focused and less instruction focused. I'm not saying they're unhelpful; I just prefer the older, more reference based books for my sewing library.

And, last and probably most importantly...

Friends and Family

Know somebody who sews and is patient? Have them help teach you! My mother was a home economics education major in college, so I had someone with both experience and teaching training to teach me. I also have friends, aunts, uncles, grandmothers, cousins, and several friends from my 4-H days who sew. I can tell you for a fact that nothing beats having someone physically present to demonstrate, an extra set of eyes to make sure everything goes smoothly, and a pair of ears to listen when the stress mounts.

DIY Month: Fear, Frustration, and the Mid-Project Meltdown

There is one thing that DIY fashionistas will rarely tell beginners, and that is this: sometimes, it's scary or frustrating or downright rage-inducing to make your own clothing.

First, there is the cost. Fabric is expensive, and sometimes patterns are, too. Unless you have a lucky clearance find, somebody's clearing out their stash, or you've got a nice coupon, it could be very expensive to make your vision a reality. This is especially true in full-skirted fashions like lolita. Skirts that frilly take quite a lot of fabric.

Then, there's the fear that the vision you have in your head and what you sew will not align properly. Maybe it won't lay right. Maybe the skirt won't be as full as you had hoped. Maybe it will gap in all the wrong places. Maybe your lining will hang out. Maybe everything will end in ruination and the thing that you envisioned as this:

will end up making your life look like this:

Myself, I often have what my mother and I have dubbed the "Mid-Project Meltdown" when I am making clothing. This does not happen when I am making stuffed animals, jewelry, purses, or any other useful items. Only clothing. I suddenly find myself in fear that I have screwed everything up and that the thing that I have made is not good enough, not neat enough, does not fit well enough. Usually, this comes in after the first attempt to sew in the zipper, which inevitably ends up crooked. Sometimes, it shows up after finding a single issue with a rolled hem that forces me to rip out the entire thing. But it still shows up despite the fact that I've been sewing since I was six.

The worst thing is that this frustration is different for every person. For me, it arrives between zippers and hems. For other people, it's gathers and ruffles. For still others, it's the minor heart attack that happens when a pattern's yardage requirement reads "six yards" while their dream fabric is still nearly twenty dollars a yard.

If you run into this sort of road block, do not freak out. Breathe. I have some tips I can offer, especially for beginners, to help you work through those moments of panic. They certainly help me.

1. Remember that "Mr. Seam Ripper" is your friend. There is no straight stitch that you cannot undo, no accidental pleat you cannot fix, no bobble that cannot be smoothed out. Yes, I know that you don't want to have to go back and fix it, but the fact is you can. That in itself is a blessing.
2. Take a break. Just a short one to clear your head. Take a walk. Watch a funny youtube video. Do something to take the edge off the stress.
3. Don't give yourself too close of a deadline. Give yourself the time you need to make a mistake and fix it, because if you don't you'll end up doing up a hem with masking tape and promising yourself that it will get sewn later. (Yes, I have done this. It's an old 4-H tradition that is usually explained away with "It's 2 am and fashion review gets judged tomorrow, but the craftsmanship doesn't get judged for another two weeks")
4. Shop around when it comes to fabric. Wait for sales. Look for other fabrics to make sure what you buy is really what you want.
5. Start small. If it's your first project, start with something simple. Start with straight seams and elastic waists and work from there. I know we all have big sewing dreams, but big projects are built on a foundation of basic skills. Build those skills first.
6. Have backup. This is really important for me, because I will never know absolutely everything and I like to have people around me who are willing and able to help, even if it's a small thing. For me, it's my mother first and foremost, but I the women of my family all sew as do many of the men. For you, it might be family, friends, or even an online forum. Have a support system. It helps more than I can say.

Don't let the frustration get to you. Take a break. Take a breather. Call someone who might be able to help or who will understand when you rant about wanting to throw your sewing machine out a window.

You can do this.

For those who are extra stressed, please take a moment to giggle at the homemade pincushion who has accompanied me on many an away mission. I modeled him off a voodoo doll, but nerdier. He's one of the most helpful relievers of sewing stress I've ever had, and I call him Lieutenant Leslie.

DIY Month: Square Dance Patterns are Your Friends

I know, I know. Stop wincing, lolitas. Hear me out.

Square dance... everything... gets a bad rep in the lolita community. Even while many western lolitas are happily wearing Malco Modes petticoats, you still hear many shouts of "Wrong shape!" and "Ugly fabrics!" and, my favorite, "Too many ruffles!" And it's true that many square dance petticoats flare out too much at the bottom to be good with lolita. Some of the dresses are hilariously bad, even modified. And, in the spirit of honesty, here are a couple of my favorite "What the hell is that even..." dress patterns.